After Nyne’s 15 Top Tips for Tall Women

lifestyle magazine

Making her After Nyne debut, Victoria Watson offers her fifteen top tips for tall women…proving that having a vertical advantage is no handicap.

Just wear the damn heels.

You know you want to.

Fight the murderous rage that boils within you when a 5’2” woman claims to be in love with a man over 6’.

Aren’t we all? Yeah, we’re looking at you, Kirsten Bell, Fergie and Hayden Panettiere.

Stand up straight.

I might sound like your mother but, trust me, you’ll save yourself a lot of backache (and possibly a hump) in the long run.

Jeans that are too short paired with heels look sexy.

Enough said.

Who wants to be dainty or petite?

You are strong. You can reach things.

Enjoy putting on 10lbs.

There are so many places for it to go that no-one will notice. But stop at 10.

You will never miss a view at a gig.

You are allowed to be smug about this.

Swim

It’s a sport where you can actually look elegant.

Shake it off like Taylor.

That girl is tall and feisty and gorgeous: role model!

Casually tell men in bars that you ‘used to model’.

No-one will question it.

Cherish your long legs.

They will be your key tool in the zombie apocalypse. In the meantime, remember to moisturise.

Between the ages of 14 and 21, you will never be ID’d.

Do what you think is morally appropriate with this information.

Think carefully about dating a man considerably shorter than you.

Your love will need to be strong enough to withstand a lot of comments (‘are you taking your pet out for a walk?’) and logistical issues.

The boys at school will grow.

Most of them.

It’s irreversible.

Stop hating and embrace it. In time, you will see there are lots of advantages to being tall.

@vpeanuts

Charlotte Tilbury